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SA Expat Humour
Need a laugh, read through our South African humour. If you have something to contribute, please login and click on the Submit Humour link in the User menu to the right. Please note that the site is moderated and your humour will need to be approved before it is visible to the public.  Click here for humorous South African images.


Springbok Supporter E-mail
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Written by admin   
Thursday, 18 October 2007
A little girl was sitting in her classroom in England when her teacher walked in and started talking about how proud she is to be English and how wonderful it is to be an England supporter. The teacher then asked everyone who supported England to put up their hand. Every hand in the class besides one went up. This surprised the teacher and so she asked the little girl why her hand wasn't up.
 
"Well," said the little girl, "because I dont support England."

Even more surprised, the teacher asked her who she supported. "I support the Springboks", she replied. Now a bit irritated, the teacher asked the little girl why she supported the Springboks. "My mom supports the Springboks, and my dad supports the Springboks, so I support the Springboks." The teacher looked at the little girl and with a smirk asked: "Well, if your mom was an idiot and your dad was an idiot, what would you be?"

The little girl looked up at her teacher, smiled and replied:

"An England supporter!"
 
Van der Merwe in London E-mail
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Written by admin   
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
Van der Merwe goes to London to watch the Boks take on the Poms at Twickenham.   Whilst in London , he walks around, gaping and staring at everything.   So much so that he walks smack bang into a fire hydrant which hits him so hard on the family jewels that they burst. He gets rushed to hospital where the doctors tell him they have to remove his testicles.
 
Van goes beserk: he bites and snarls at every one and he won't let anybody within 10 metres of him.  Eventually they find a South African doctor in the hospital and get him to talk to Van.   He walks up to Van and tells him "Hey Van, die ouens moet jou knaters uithaal."    Van replies "O, okay, ek dog die bliksems wil my test tickets vat."
 
Van der Merwe's Friday dinner E-mail
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Written by admin   
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
Every Friday evening after work Van der Merwe would braai a big, fat juicy steak. But his neighbours, being Catholic and therefore reluctant to eat meat on Fridays suffered agonies of temptation as the delicious aroma carried on the evening breeze.
 
They persuaded their priest to try to convert Van. Success! Van attended Mass and the priest sprinkled holy water over him and said, "You were born a Protestant, raised a Protestant but now you are a Catholic."

Everybody was delighted.

But when Friday night came the wonderful aroma of grilled steak again wafted over the neighbourhood.

The priest rushed into Van's garden just in time to see him clutching a small bottle of holy water and sprinkling it over the grilling meat and chanting, "You was born a cow, you was raised as a cow, but now you is a snoek!"